A Conversation with the Battousai
by Marie Nomad
Summary: While tending to Kenshin's wounds late one night, Kaoru receives a visitor in the form of the Battousai and discovers he is nothing like the rumors turned to be.


Hi! This Rurouni Kenshin fic takes place after the Kyoto Arc. All characters belong to Shonen Jump and creator Nobuhiro Watsuki. I am not making any money off of this.   
  
A Conversation with the Battousai  
  
By Maria Cline  
  
The candle burned as Kaoru sat by Kenshin's wounded body. It had been a week since Kenshin had returned from his battle with Shishio. Megumi had done all she could and treated his wounds with great care. However, he had not moved since then. The doctor told her that his mind was there and aware but his body was in too much pain.   
  
She watched him breathe and sleep. His eyes twitched as if he knows that she was there. "It's okay, Kenshin." Kaoru whispered gently as she took his hand.  
  
Suddenly, his eyes shot opened and the man sat up. Instead of his warm violet eyes that make her feel safe, Kaoru saw his cold golden eyes. He looked at her and Kaoru dropped his hand. "Relax, I just wish to talk to you." He said in a low calm voice.  
  
Kaoru managed to find her voice again. "What are you doing? There's no battle, there's no threat, and you should be resting!" She was angry. She was confused. She was worried that she will never see Kenshin again.  
  
"You are not scared?" The Battousai asked amused and relieved.  
  
"Not really. I'm just shocked." Kaoru held herself as she looked down. "I never thought that I would see you like that again. Why are you like that? Is it the fight? Sanosuke told us that you never went 'Battousai' during the fights. Why now?"  
  
The man shook his head. "I wish to speak to you, Kaoru-dono and to explain myself so you can understand that I am not a heartless demon that you thought of me, the Battousai to be."  
  
"I see." Kaoru looked at him. A part of her was curious about what the Battousai was truly like. The only times she saw him was in the battle with Jineh and Saitoh. "You won't stay that way right?"  
  
"No, and I would not wander away any time soon." The Battousai replied in a strange hurt tone.  
  
"Oh, let me get you some tea." Kaoru took her pitcher and poured a fresh cup of tea. "I don't mean to sound rude, it's just that I'm a little stunned." She handed him the cup.  
  
"No, you are not being rude at all, Kaoru-dono. Considering the circumstances, you are being very brave." The Battousai sipped his tea. "You are always brave."  
  
Kaoru blushed as she looked down. The Battousai was not she was expecting. He was calm, cool, and very polite. He even called her 'Kaoru-dono' like Kenshin normally does. "Thank you. Battousai-"  
  
"Don't call me that!" The Battousai growled and then winced slightly as he held his side.  
  
"I'm so sorry!" Kaoru raced up and checked his bandages. "Don't move around. You're still hurt."  
  
"I am fine. I had been dealt with worse injuries. Like I said before, don't call me 'Battousai'. I never liked that name any way. It doesn't even apply to me any more. The Battousai name was given to me because I was the master of the Battoujitsu move. I am no longer that master, Kenshin is. The succession move Shishou taught us can only be done by someone with a strong will to live; I do not have that strong will. I can never do that move." The Battousai replied as he stared at her.   
  
Kaoru nodded as she sat on the cushion. "I see. I'm sorry, Kenshin, you know that I would never hurt you."  
  
The Battousai waved her off casually. "Don't be, I don't care about pain. That is how I can move with these wounds." The Battousai touched his bandages. "That is the difference between me and my other self. I don't feel pain like Kenshin does."  
  
"Oh. Is that why you were like that during the Revolution? To avoid feeling pain?" Kaoru asked feeling curious.  
  
The man grimaced slightly. "I was rarely injured during the Revolution. I was so fast that no one can touch me in the first year that I fought. However, there were other forms of pain I endured. When I first came to this accursed city, I was naïve, foolish, and willing to do anything to protect others." The Battousai recollected, "I was very foolish back then. Kenshin was a good boy who did not complete his training and so was unprepared for the stress of murder. He promised Katsura-san that he would do anything he asked to help him. That promise nearly destroyed his soul." The Battousai's voice wavered as if he was starting to lose control  
  
She quickly grabbed on to his hand. "It's okay. You made a mistake." She whispered.  
  
"I made many mistakes but it wasn't just the assassinations. It was my comrades. Many of them were like me, wanting a better Japan, but there were those who's reasons were not so pure. There were those who taunted me and teased me when I first joined. I was the smallest and youngest fighter there and with my red hair, it made me an easy target for their ridicule. That stopped however after I started killing people." He smirked as his eyes glowed.   
  
Kaoru gasped as she sat back. She had heard rumors of how deadly the Battousai was but she didn't want to think that he would kill his own just because they were making fun of him. "You didn't."   
  
Battousai sweatdropped. "Oh relax; I would never kill one of my own. However, my reputation became known and those bastards stay away from me. If they were bothering me, all I have to do is put my hand on the hilt and they back away slowly."  
  
The woman's heart softens as she sat closer and her grip tightened. "Don't you have any friends to help you with this? Any friends at all?"  
  
The Battousai lowered his head down. "None. No one would be a friend to a manslayer like me. After the first five kills, I learned to suppress emotions and the concept of pain for brief amounts of time. It became easier to complete my assignments. Over time I learned to be like this as long as I need to. I stopped caring about the lives of others and my own life. All that mattered to me was winning the next battle and killing all evil. After all, my life is nothing but a random series of killings. I am a weapon, nothing more." The Battousai paused as he looked up at the sky. His body shook from his injuries and the emotions he had been suppressing.   
  
**This is the real Battousai?** Kaoru thought bewildered as she watched him carefully. She had often envisioned the Battousai to be cold and cruel and yet this man seemed so lost and sad. The Battousai was lonely. "Kenshin, you have friends now who don't care about what you did during the Revolution." She started to cry. "It's not fair. You are such a good man, why did they force you to do such horrible things? You are not just a weapon, you are a man. You are a human being who would sacrifice his own soul to save others. Please, don't think that your life has no meaning because it does."  
  
The Battousai stared at her stunned. "You would cry for a man like me? I am not the Kenshin you know and like."  
  
Kaoru had enough. "Idiot! You are Kenshin! You are a part of Kenshin that he needed during the Revolution! I care about you as much as I care about Kenshin!" Her frame trembled as she held up the hand that she had been holding and kissed it gently. "I hate seeing people I care about being miserable."  
  
"Kaoru-dono…" The Battousai tilted his head and observed her.   
  
"Kenshin, I have to know, how did you get out of that way of thinking?" Kaoru asked as she looked down. "Why did you take up that non-killing vow?"  
  
The Battousai looked away and closed his eyes. "I made a promise to someone I cared about deeply. She showed me that by closing out pain and sorrow, I was also closing out happiness and love. She gave Kenshin a reason to take a chance and try to stop using me to fight with before she died."  
  
Kaoru's throat tightened. Kenshin had a dead girlfriend? **Of course he had a girlfriend. He's 28 years old for Kami's sake. He had to have someone before I met him.** "I'm sorry. How did she die?"  
  
Battousai took a deep breath and then kneel over. His side wound started to bleed as well as his scar. Thinking about her, even in his Battousai form hurts. "I... I-" Then, Kaoru clamped her hand onto his mouth.  
  
"Stop. Don't tell me. All that suppression of emotions is causing your wounds to open up." Kaoru said as she removed her hand and rushed to get the bandages. "I don't want you to hurt yourself more because of me."  
  
The Battousai closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Very well." He muttered as Kaoru helped changed the bandages and then wiped his face.  
  
"Why did your scar bleed?" She asked, "I've known you for six months and I never saw it bled like that."  
  
"It does that, it will stop. It always does. It is believed that sword wounds reflect the feelings behind what caused the wounds. A wound caused by great hated takes longest to heal." Battousai said as he put a cloth bandage over his scar.   
  
"I see." Kaoru changed the bandages and then gently pushed the man's head down onto the futon. "I want you to get better. You have to heal and you can't heal if you keep on moving yourself like that."  
  
"I see." The Battousai stared upward and said, "I am no longer needed to keep Kenshin's mind safe. I was once useful to him but now I am obsolete. You will not see this side of me again."  
  
Kaoru could not help but feel sad for the man. True, he was a cold heartless assassin but that side of him was needed to protect him. The Battousai was not Kenshin's dark half, it was his shield. He was Kenshin's way of keeping him sane during the bloodiest years in his life. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. Like I said before, I don't care about my existence. My will to live is nowhere near as strong as Kenshin's is. I am content to wait in the back of his mind until I leave this world. I just wanted to see, if you would accept the Battousai as well as the Rurouni." Battousai said as he looked at her. His eyes were drooping slightly. She could tell that he was starting to lose consciousness.  
  
"Of course, I accept both of you! You're Kenshin; I... can't stand the idea of losing you. We are all going back to Tokyo together when you're better." Kaoru said as tears rained down her face. "I am never afraid of you."  
  
"I know. Protect his soul, Kaoru-dono. The sheath does more than control the blade. It protects it from harm." The Battousai closed his eyes and went to sleep.  
  
"I will. I promise. I will keep both of you safe. Just rest and heal." Kaoru smiled as she pulled away the cloth bandage on Kenshin's cheek to see the scar had stop bleeding.  
  
The End  
  
Author's Notes: This fic came to me after I asked this question, "What is the Battousai really like?" I cannot imagine the Battousai as a sex crazed loose cannon who love to kill. I see him as a form of mask to protect Kenshin's sanity from crumbling. He was a necessary part of Kenshin's soul until after the war. 


End file.
